


Love Uber All

by rudbeckia



Series: Spookylux Huxloween 2018 [7]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Humor, Huxloween, Love Spell, M/M, Mild Horror, huxloween 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-18 09:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16115642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudbeckia/pseuds/rudbeckia
Summary: Huxloween day 7 - Spell gone wrongMitaka drunkenly asks for a spell that will make Hux like him better. It does not go according to Mitaka’s hopes and dreams.





	Love Uber All

The bar clinked with the sounds of clearing up and the lights came up so bright they made Mitaka blink and shield his eyes. Thanisson punched him on the arm.  
“Share an Uber?” he asked, phone in hand, although he’d planned on walking. Mitaka raised his head and smiled.  
“You’re such a good friend, Than,” he slurred. “Take me home.”  
“Okay.” Thanisson steadied Mitaka when he lurched to his feet. “Easy. We’ve got five minutes.”  
A silver Corolla with darkened windows was already waiting by the time Thanisson manoeuvred Mitaka through the main door of the club. The driver rolled her eyes at the sight. She got out to open the back door.  
“It’s two hundred quid if he pukes,” she said. Thanisson nodded. Mitaka raised his head to glare and grumble at her rudeness but the movement made his head spin. He allowed Thanisson to bundle him into the back seat of the car and fasten his seatbelt for him.

That was all he remembered.

Mitaka sipped a glass of water because the half-pint he’d downed whilst standing at the sink had hurt his stomach. It was six in the morning and he knew the full force of the hangover was yet to arrive. Once a full pint of tap-water sloshed around his innards, Mitaka refilled the glass and headed back to bed.  
“Hey, take these,” said a voice in the darkness. Mitaka could just make out the slight figure of Thanisson in the hallway. He was holding something out. Mitaka frowned. “Paracetamol. For your head.” Thanisson laughed. “You were so drunk last night I thought I should stay and make sure you lived until morning.”  
“Ugh.” Mitaka took the two white capsules and swallowed them with another sip of water. “Thanks. Going. Bed.” Mitaka paused at the doorway into his bedroom. “Tomorrow. Uh, today. Sunday?”  
Thanisson laughed. “Yes. You don’t have to face him for another whole day.”

Five hours later, Mitaka sat at the kitchen table with two fried eggs looking up at him from plate like a pair of googly eyes. Thanisson buttered toast thickly and slid the eggs one after the other on top, pressing another slice of dripping toast on top and cutting the whole thing from corner to corner.  
“Eat it. You’ll feel better.”  
“Why aren’t you hungover?” Mitaka asked.  
“I don’t drink,” Thanisson replied. “Secret of my youthful good looks and longevity.”  
“You eat it.”  
Thanisson pushed the plate an inch closer to Mitaka. “I made it for you. Go on. Rude to refuse.”  
With a grimace at Thanisson, Mitaka ate. Halfway through his eyes opened wide and he shook his head. “Did I really ask that karking Uber driver to cast a spell on Hux?”  
Thanisson laughed. “You told her your entire dating history and whined that nobody ever likes you enough for a proper relationship. Hux may have been mentioned. You said she looked like _a proper witch_ and should cast a spell on Hux to make him like you more. She gave you a funny look then made up some weird words and waved her arms around when we got out. I swear I heard my school motto in there somewhere. It was in Latin.” Thanisson pushed the plate back at Mitaka. “Eat all of it. You gave her a tenner as a tip then she promised to do a real spell when she got off shift.”

The first sign that anything was wrong came at eight on Monday when Hux had still not arrived at work. When he finally did arrive, well over an hour late even by normal standards, he ran from his car into the building hunched over with his raincoat over his head, and did not slow down until he was safely inside his office. He slammed the door shut behind him and locked it. Mitaka and Thanisson frowned at one another across the space between their desks. Unamo looked up, shook her head a couple of times and sniffed the air. She walked slowly to Hux’s office door and tried to open it, growing more and more distressed the longer it stood firm against her. Eventually she gave up rattling the handle and thumped the plywood surface with her fists instead. Mitaka approached her with caution.  
“Una? You feeling okay?”  
“Yes,” she replied, a little out of breath. “Go get me the axe from the emergency cabinet, would you, ‘Tak?”  
“Um,” said Mitaka, “no?”  
Unamo turned and leaned her back against Hux’s office door. “You don’t understand,” she said, voice drifting dreamily. “Armitage has shut himself in his office. I’m sure he didn’t mean to shut me out. He’s the love of my life and we’re meant to be together. All the time. I’m sorry, ‘Tak, but he’s not going to be yours. He turned you down. We all heard.”  
Unamo rubbed her hands over the smooth but slightly dented surface behind her, smiling and closing her eyes. Thanisson and Mitaka gaped at each other.  
“Unamo,” Thanisson said quietly, “Hux has Ben. And what about Phasma? I thought she was the love of your life. Did something happen?”  
“Oh! No,” Unamo shrugged. “Phasma’s lovely, considering. She won’t mind when I tell her. Armitage is supposed to be mine. He’ll understand as soon as I explain it to him then he’ll call Ben with the good news.”  
“He fucking won’t,” came a threatening voice from the lobby. “He’s mine.”  
Mitaka watched in horror as Peavey from sales joined Unamo at Hux’s door then tried to wrestle her to the floor. They were soon joined by Datoo from finance and Canady from advertising, then Kaplan from personnel arrived to stake his claim. Mitaka took out his phone but Hux was not answering. He did the next most sensible thing he could think of. He phoned Ben, then Phasma.

While they waited for Ben to arrive, the horde broke into Hux’s office and found it deserted but with the window open. A joint sigh of collective disappointment rose into the air and the enchanted employees wandered off back to their routine jobs and seductive daydreams of a life that would surely be spent in adoration of Hux. Thanisson tidied Hux’s office. Phasma arrived to take Unamo home. When Ben got there, the three of them sat around Hux’s conference table while Thanisson described what had happened. Ben rolled his eyes and nodded.  
“Yeah. All day yesterday he was pestered by strangers wanting his number and a few dozen followed him home until I threatened to beat them with a carved and varnished pumpkin. Did everyone suddenly go mad overnight between Saturday and Sunday? It’s like he’s irresistible.” Ben sighed. “He’s cute, I know, but this is crazy.” He looked at Thanisson’s pensive face. “What?”  
Ben narrowed his eyes and leaned closer to Thanisson. “What?” he repeated.  
“It’s impossible,” said Thanisson. “But our Uber driver might’ve been a witch and ‘Tak might’ve paid her ten pounds to cast a love spell so that—“  
“SHUT UP!” Mitaka rocketed to his feet.  
“So that Hux would... would... like him more.”  
Ben turned his glare on Mitaka. “Well? Did you?”  
“I don’t remember,” admitted Mitaka, sitting down again and resting his head in his hands.  
“You better find that driver,” said Ben. “Otherwise I’ll break the spell by choking to death whoever can’t remember having paid for it to be cast.”

Thanisson checked his app and found the driver easily. He called for her car to pick him up and he, Mitaka and Ben waited by the front of the building.  
“I’m really sorry,” said Mitaka to Ben. “I don’t know what got into me.”  
“Five pumpkin spice snowballs,” supplied Thanisson.  
“A love spell. You know that’s fucked up, don’t you?” said Ben. “At least you two seem not to be affected.”  
“I don’t want to have sex with anyone,” said Thanisson. “Haven’t done for years.”  
“I’m used to pining after him and getting nowhere,” confessed Mitaka. “He’s yours. I know.”  
“He belongs to himself, asshole,” said Ben. “But if he chose you I’d accept it.” Ben smiled and Mitaka let out a relieved breath. Ben’s smile widened to show teeth. “I’d still kill you, though.”  
The silver Corolla pulled up and the driver got out. “I take it this is about your boss?” Mitaka nodded. “He’s safe,” she said. “I picked him up fifteen minutes ago when I saw him being chased down the dual carriageway by a crowd of people demanding that he stop and discuss wedding plans. Get in the car. Safer if we’re moving.”  
Ben opened the front passenger door and got in. Mitaka and Thanisson got in the two back doors. The driver set off with Hux sandwiched into the middle of the back seat and a small crowd of besotted admirers trying to follow on foot. Hux scowled at Mitaka.  
“Why couldn’t you just ignore your silly crush like everyone else did?”  
“Hey,” the driver called out. “Leave him alone. Not all his fault. I was tired and I got a word backwards in my incantation so the spell ended up backwards and a lot less specific. Now I can undo it but you have to buy the spell back.”  
Mitaka’s head shot up. “How much?”  
The driver stopped at a red light and twisted to smirk at Mitaka. “How much is it worth?”  
Hux pointed in the driver’s face. “No,” he said. “He’s entitled to a full refund and you have to put it right. If you don’t, I’ll have my legal team destroy you.”  
“Fat chance,” said the driver. “They’ll be too busy trying to get into your pants.”  
“They will do it,” said Hux, “because I will promise that whoever gets a criminal negligence case to stick will be _welcomed_ into my pants.”  
“Really?” said Mitaka.  
Ben shook his head. “Not you.”  
With reluctance, the driver broke the spell. She dropped them off back at Hux’s office building and they spilled out of the car into peaceful drizzle. The driver shrugged and sighed.  
“I only tried to help,” she said. “At least give me a decent review for the drive?”


End file.
